#3 Sweep your problems (the little ones) under the rug

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The union of two people involves a conjunction of different habits, individual preferences and unique experiences. Naturally that will lead to disagreements from time to time; it is important to make the distinction between small preference issues over more important differences in values. Is there really only one way to load the dish washer, organize the dresser or clean the bathroom? If it’s not hurting anyone, does it really deserve an argument? Take time to recognize the difference between legitimate issues that require proper attention and preference based disagreements. Don’t sweat the small stuff and focus on supporting and empowering your partner.

“It really is ok to drop certain subjects and not even come back to them. People think this means you’re avoiding key issues. But for everyday little things, successful couples agree to ignore the small problems. It’s not worth the aggravation to insist on winning everything.”

David Weller, Ph. D., executive director of the Relationship Training Institute in San Diego and author of When Good Men Behave Badly

Don’t miss tips #1 & #2 http://lovepaperpen.com/relationships/

Love, Peace and Unity

#2 Listen more, talk less

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Do you ever just want to vent? Want to share whats going on in your mind without hearing advice or judgment? Doesn’t it feel good to talk to someone who is genuinely interested in what you’re saying? As good as it feels to be on the receiving end of your partner’s attention, it is equally if not more important to be a good listener yourself. Good communication is a two-way street; it feels incredibly rewarding to be present for your partner. So next time your partner opens up to you about their thoughts or concerns, do you best to just listen. Put down your phone, look into their eyes and get interested. But perhaps most importantly control your desire to speak, even if it really itches.

“Communication is 85% listening and 15% talking. The more you listen, the more you’ll enhance communication. Try getting out of the house, taking a long walk without cell phones, just looking into your partner’s eyes and listening to him.her. Its’s an amazing thing in a relationship when you truly feel listened to!”
Neil Clark Warren, Ph. D., founder of eHarmoney.com and author of Falling in Love for All the Right Reasons

Try it today!
Love, Peace & Unity to you and yours

Don’t miss Relationship Tip #1 http://lovepaperpen.com/1-never-underestimate-the-power-of-a-compliment/

Love is a Force

Have you had the pleasure of reading a very special love letter that’s been surfing through the World Wide Web?  The letter is allegedly written by Albert Einstein to his daughter Lieserl Einstein.  It is a beautiful attempt at explaining the mystical and wondrous power that is love.   Several curious minds have tried to verify the authenticity of its origination; however no one was able to confirm that Albert actually wrote it.  What I find most interesting is not so much who wrote it, but the message that lies within.  Whether it was written by the world’s most famous brilliant mind or a modern ghost blogger, the power of the message remains the same. Love is a force more powerful than any known to man.  I urge you to read the letter and share it with the world if it resonates within.

…”When I proposed the theory of relativity, very few understood me, and what I will reveal now to transmit to mankind will also collide with the misunderstanding and prejudice in the world.
I ask you to guard the letters as long as necessary, years, decades, until society is advanced enough to accept what I will explain below.
There is an extremely powerful force that, so far, science has not found a formal explanation to. It is a force that includes and governs all others, and is even behind any phenomenon operating in the universe and has not yet been identified by us.

This universal force is LOVE.  When scientists looked for a unified theory of the universe they forgot the most powerful unseen force.

Love is Light, that enlightens those who give and receive it.
Love is gravity, because it makes some people feel attracted to others.

Love is power, because it multiplies the best we have, and allows humanity not to be extinguished in their blind selfishness. Love unfolds and reveals.

For love we live and die.
Love is God and God is Love.

This force explains everything and gives meaning to life. This is the variable that we have ignored for too long, maybe because we are afraid of love because it is the only energy in the universe that man has not learned to drive at will.

To give visibility to love, I made a simple substitution in my most famous equation.

If instead of E = mc2, we accept that the energy to heal the world can be obtained through love multiplied by the speed of light squared, we arrive at the conclusion that love is the most powerful force there is, because it has no limits.
After the failure of humanity in the use and control of the other forces of the universe that have turned against us, it is urgent that we nourish ourselves with another kind of energy…

If we want our species to survive, if we are to find meaning in life, if we want to save the world and every sentient being that inhabits it, love is the one and only answer.
Perhaps we are not yet ready to make a bomb of love, a device powerful enough to entirely destroy the hate, selfishness and greed that devastate the planet.

However, each individual carries within them a small but powerful generator of love whose energy is waiting to be released.
When we learn to give and receive this universal energy, dear Lieserl, we will have affirmed that love conquers all, is able to transcend everything and anything, because love is the quintessence of life.

I deeply regret not having been able to express what is in my heart, which has quietly beaten for you all my life. Maybe it’s too late to apologize, but as time is relative, I need to tell you that I love you and thanks to you I have reached the ultimate answer! “

 

#1 Never underestimate the power of a compliment

Too often we take things for granted. This is especially true for people in a long term relationship. At the start of a relationship we tend to notice, value and appreciate all the little things our partner does for us but with time, those things may become expected and overlooked. Take a moment to notice what your partner contributes to the relationship, to your household and to you. It could be a quick mention about a daily chore such as “thanks for taking out the trash on a cold rainy day my love, I appreciate it.” This simple gesture takes zero effort but can have enormous ripple effects. It could make someone’s day or even their week but it will definitely increase the positive vibrations in the room. Overtime these gentle gestures of appreciation will motivate your partner to do the same of you.

“Every day, tell your partner about at least one thing they did that you appreciate. Everybody is quick to let their partner know what they didn’t do right, and what made you angry. Make sure you balance this with what they do that please you. From the small things to the big things, the more you say ‘Thank you’, the more of what make you happy will come your way”

– Jane Greer, PH.D., couples therapist and author or Gridlock: Finding the Courage to Move On in Love, Work and Life

Give it a try today!

Sincerely,
Love.Paper.Pen

Partner in Shine

  
There are over 7 billion people in this world; gosh that is a large number. It’s hard to believe that with so many people in the world it can still be difficult to find the right partner. Each and every one of us is unique down to our very DNA yet most of us share a commonality, we all want to love and be loved, we want to share our journey through life with someone who gets us, someone we can trust and count on when the going gets rough. The selection process for “the one” varies for each individual. Some effortlessly stumble into lifelong love, some take a few falls along the way while others spend most of their life searching for that special someone. Whether you’re deep in love or still searching, try to keep in mind that while having a life partner is an important aspect of fulfillment, choosing the right person to be by your side is even more imperative. To be clear, I am not saying that you need to go out and find a perfect human, not at all. As a matter of fact we are all imperfect. Our imperfections make us who we are; they make us unique, beautiful and full of wonder. Instead of perfection, seek character traits that help you become the best version of you. Below is a list of a few key traits that I find essential in a perfect mate.Your partner in shine should:

1. Love you for who you are, not who they want you to be – understanding our differences is keyto a successful relationship. By observing and learning your partner’s likes and dislikes you can make educated decisions on how to make them happy or what makes them tick. Because how can we make someone happy if their definition of happiness is different from our own?

2. Support your passions – Behind every great skill or talent there is a whole lot of passion. Passion is the fire that ignites our drive, our dedication and determination. Without passion our life can appear to be bleak and unexciting, sometimes even pointless, therefore, it is critical that we allow ourselves to explore and pursue our passions. Your partner needs to value and respect your personal passion, no matter how big or small.

3. Be honest – with the good and the bad. Honesty is an incredibly powerful tool. It can make us feel on top of the world, if it is to our liking. Conversely, it can break us down if we are not ready to face the facts. Truth is, honesty that feels uncomfortable to hear,is a sign of avoidance of some uncomfortable truth. It is our responsibility to deal with it and figure it out internally rather than get upset at the messenger. I would prefer uncomfortable truth over false compliments any day. Just a side note, do not confuse honesty with opinion.  

4. Challenge your ideas – your partner should help you reevaluate your predispositions, no matter how uncomfortable that may seem. Many folks walk around with years of opinions and ideas they’ve picked up along the way. In addition to the predispositions, they tend to carry a heavy ego baggage. Ego combined with existing beliefs can be a dangerous combination, because the ego is always worried that we’re going to look foolish, therefore it prevents you from being open minded to new information that may conflict with your existing beliefs. If we put our ego aside and consider the discussion with an open and clear mind, we may learn some new information not only about the topic but about ourselves.  

5. Let you breathe – every single one of us needs a little space from time to time. Whether you are in a relationship or juggling a busy family life, it is easy to forget to take care of ourselves. We end up focusing most of our energy on the wants and needs of others, forgetting to take the time to check in with ourselves. Without proper “me” time we can get lost in frustration and end up feeling used and unappreciated. In a healthy relationship, partners give each other time to pause, reflect and breathe.  

6. Last but most certainly not least, if you want your partner to give you all the courtesies listed above, be sure you are ready to give them in return. A healthy relationship is a two way street.

Having a partner in life is a beautiful notion, but having the right partner for you is even more important. The right partner will enlighten you, strengthen you, empower you and help you become the best version of yourself yet. The perfect partner is not a perfect person but rather a perfect companion for your beautiful journey.